Have you heard of David Baerten? Baerten is a 45 year old man living in Begium who recently faked his own death. Yes; you read that correctly. And no he didn’t do it for money or to evade a crime. He did it because he felt forgotten by his extended family. He has said that he felt as if he’d become invisible to the people he loved.
Baerton is quoted by news outlets as saying, “What I see in my family often hurts me. I never get invited to anything. Nobody sees me. We all grew apart. I felt unappreciated. That’s why I wanted to give them a life lesson, and show them that you shouldn’t wait until someone is dead to meet up with them.”
So how did he pull this off?
In order to pull it off he enlisted the help of his wife and children. They all had a part in convincing the world that he had in fact died. At his outdoor funeral, a helicopter showed up and Braerton came out shocking his friends and family. The videos circulating on social media depict confusion and shock and lots of tears and hugs.
So what’s the verdict on the internet?
The online comments I’ve read are a mixed bag. Some are sympathetic while others judge him harshly.
“The ego on this guy must be tremendous.”
“Now we know why people didn’t like him.”
Others wrote, “It’s sad that some family members only see you after you’re dead. God bless you.”
Based on news reports since it all took place, it seems Baerten feels satisfied and like his ploy helped him figure out who he could rely on. He said, “Proves who really cares about me. Those who didn’t come, did contact me to meet up. So in a way, I did win.”
Thoughts…
I’ve given alot of thought to this. I’d be dishonest to say there haven’t been times I’ve felt forgotten too. And in the low moments I’ve thought, well maybe when I die this person or that person will wish they had taken the time to reach out to me. But I never end there. I also always try to recognize that I have some control too. And 9 times out of 10 it sparks me to shoot a text or take responsibility to reach out in some way to someone I love. That doesn’t always work. I once had a Christmas card returned to me and that was pretty painful. For the rare times it doesn’t work, as I’ve gotten older I’ve made the decision to let go and just love the person from a distance. This also works in relationships that are unhealthy or painful. I was surprised that doing this has actually felt freeing in so many ways.
What about you?
At the end of the day, I generally agree with Baerton in that so often we take life and the people we love for granted. Sometimes people die without the hug we wish we’d given them or the bridge we wish we could have rebuilt. That said, I try to stay mindful of the price of rebuilding the bridge, especially when it comes with an emotional toll or a price tag on my mental health. In those cases I love from a distance and say farewell from that same place. Wherever you fall on this, maybe it will prompt you to reach out to someone you love. I’m eager to hear your thoughts!